femen

 


Since the dawn of time straight men have always been fascinated by the phenomenon known as boobs aka female breasts.  In boob news recently members of the female group FEMEN, dropped burka’s and entered a mosque in Stockholm bare-breasted to protest against Sharia law and the right for sexual and religious freedom for Muslim women.  I’m all for it but barging in a mosque or a church or any religious location is not only odd but also makes the hearts of Mullahs and all men in attendance, beat a few boobs, I mean beats faster.  Let’s not have any cardiac’s while praying shall we?!?


FEMEN has the right to protest and stand for what they believe in without getting death threats and called names.  Where are the naked children (mostly boys) marching against the priests at the Vatican?  No where to be found…guess naked children are not nearly as appealing as boobs.  Boob Power go!

got jew

By Jewbacca


A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar…what happens?
They go up to the bar and say “can we get a Blue Nun, a Black Russian and an Unreasonable-Overreacting-Irrational-Fuck.  Okay guys who’s got the first round?”


Are Jewish people good dancers?
I don’t know of many famous Jewish Dancers… I haven’t seen an episode of “Dancing with the Steins” or “So You Think You Can Dance the Hora?” yet with Orthodox contestants or even Martin Landau, have you?


Is it a lot of upkeep for Hasidic Jewish men to keep their curls intact?
Haha of course not I mean all they have to do is not cut them? They only do that to save money on razors who the fuck wants to pay $50 for a pack of Gillette Mach-whatever-the- fuck razors, it’s a conspiracy against hairy people !

china-hairy-stockings-800x250

 


China invents hair stockings to combat perverts.  Now glancing at young girls legs won’t be that easy on the eyes in China, thanks to the inventors of hair stockings you will cringe each time you look at those pre-pubescent legs.  You may even throw up in your mouth a little and ask God for forgiveness.


China you really are a great moral guide to the rest of the world now that your gender balance is off because you decided to get rid of most your female babies.  You guys have the right idea.

By Romulus Marshall


I want to say that I am SHOCKED at this, but with all the ridiculous, inhumane, ludicrous, and insanely batshit crazy things the Taliban have done – I am more sad than anything else.  After spearheading the now infamous epic fail of an assassination of the young Malala Yousufzai (who BTW is back on her feet kicking Taliban ass all over the place), these mofo’s just carried out beheadings of two boys - 10 and 16 years old for, get this… stealing food scraps from a waste bin that belonged to security forces…?!?!?!  WHAT???  Seriously… WHAT?!?!?!  If there was ever any justification for wiping these turds off the face of the earth, this would be it.  It is so pathetically degrading how they stoop so low to horridly pick on kids and claim moral victories – even Neanderthals look upon them with shame and disgust.

Zardari-funny-picture-061-280x350

 


Hate gays but love gay porn?  Once again my beloved Pakistan has made the top slot in…wait for it….highest searches for gay porn according to Google.  The level of intolerance that Pakistan is currently plagued with is both asinine and tragic however this news makes me wonder if gay porn is highly watched how come the government has not cracked down on those porn websites?  In case you missed it, Pakistan banned over 2000 pornographic website in an attempt to “restore the modesty” that exists there.


Pakistan is right, gays should know their place which is behind a computer desk with some coconut or olive oil (their preference) and some candles for that “special alone time”.  God knows the government officials are probably doing the same.

 

By Romulus Marshall

No.. not you too Turkey!!!  After the Arab spring and Syrian winter and Pakistani decade or just about any political unrest across the majority of Muslim nations, people in Turkey decided they wanted to get in on the action.  It’s getting harder and harder to differentiate the political strife of the Arab world with that of anyone else’s and having a Muslim Nation Revolution is so vogue now.  At least in recent times, Turkey has been a pretty level-headed nation that many even consider a great honeymoon destination!

When was the last time you read articles about the fantastic family vacation hub of Cairo, Christmas in Beirut, study abroad in Karachi or the most popular “budget-friendly weekend in Kabul”?  Exactly,  NEVER!  It is almost out of the blue that Turkey felt so left out that it needed a revolution of its own and over the past 10 days, there has been an uprising of the middle-class who is now fed up with President Erdogan’s regime.  It has gotten so nasty that an image of a woman in red casually hanging out at a park and peacefully protesting, getting totally hosed by a policeman with teargas has now gone viral. Somewhat iconic depiction of the state of affairs in Turkey; which for all intents and purposes, looks eerily similar to how things started in Libya, then Egypt, then Lebanon, then Syria .  All of a sudden, that honeymoon in Turkey is looking more and more like a “romantic getaway to the Gaza Strip”…

jewerineBy Jewbacca

Muslim men are circumcised as are Jewish men…Does it really look better?

I don’t know if it looks better or feels better since I can’t recall much about the few moments I did get to spend with my foreskin but I can tell you that apparently doctors claim there are few possible health benefits of circumcision. Although they say some of these are uncommon anyway, circumcised males do have slightly lower risks of urinary tract infections (UTIs), certain STDs in men (but no one can tell me which ones lol) and penile cancer.

I tend to feel that unless you live in Nordic climates why the fuck would you want to walk around wearing a turtleneck indoors all the time, right?  At the end of the day, a dick is a dick, circumcised or not they aren’t the most aesthetic looking of human organs. I mean when you really think about it,  female genitalia are beautiful and have been the inspiration of countless works of art.  Meanwhile, we men we have an ugly three bean salad like cluster that looks like an old sweaty man with swollen feet slouching on a park bench after a long day of work for our junk.

I think when Shakespeare wrote Hamlet he was really asking a philosophical question for the ages about circumcision “To be or not to be, that is the question.”

At the end of the day you eat the banana not the peel (although you can smoke the fuck out of it if you find yourself in a pinch…).  So it doesn’t really matter it all comes down to preference, some like the skin on the fruit and some don’t, either way it’s a dick… Use it and keep it clean and you can’t go wrong either way…

JewdacrisBy Jewbacca

Why do Jewish people eat Matzoh Ball Soup?

You ask why do Jewish people eat Matzoh Ball Soup, but the better question is why do people of all walks of life love Matzoh Ball Soup.  First we must understand what Matzoh Ball Soup is?  Before we continue there is only one rule that must be followed when talking about Matzoh Ball Soup “RESPECT MY MATZOH BALLS!”

What is the literal definition of Matzoh Balls? Well they are a traditional Ashkenazi (East-European Jewish) dumpling made from Matzah meal (ground Matzah).  Depending on which joint you frequent they prepare it by dropping the Matzoh Balls into a delicious chicken soup which most of the time is made with shredded chicken.  So basically it’s like a Jewish-meatless-bread-like-meatball-chicken-soup-concoction.

Now although I’m what they call a Sephardic Jew (the dark meat) I absolutely love Matzoh Ball soup and truly believe it can cure the onset of almost any illness.  I personally use it for a number of purposes.  I once splashed a dab of it behind my ears and the nape of my neck before going out for a night on the town with the fellas.  Suddenly, every Rubenesque Jewess in the tri-state area gave me the “hungry-eyes” as soon as the scent wafted past their zaftig schnozzes.  Matzoh Ball Soup is loved by Jews and non-Jews alike because it’s just that good; it’s an almost magical elixir of sorts.  Every time you eat a bowl of Matzoh Ball Soup you become imbued with Jewy powers and abilities.  Polish off a bowl and boom all of a sudden you can instantly discern the quality of clothing and textiles and put together undercutting business deals with the shrewdest financiers in the garment and diamond districts.   Gentlemen there are several aphrodisiacal properties as well, eat a bowl of Matzoh Ball Soup before making love to your special someone and your soldier will be standing stiffly at attention and you’ll stay harder than Asian math.

Do yourself a favor if you haven’t had a bowl before you go to a local Jewish deli (they are everywhere even in the Ozarks) and try a bowl, you’ll thank me later.  If you’re in the LA area there so many places to have a great bowl of Matzoh Ball Soup like Canter’s, Langer’s, Brent’s, Greenblatt’s and the list goes on…  And if you’re in New York, well you are in Matzoh Ball heaven try out the Carnegie Deli, Artie’s, Katz’s and the 2nd Avenue Deli.  But be careful it can be addicting…

who lives in pineapple under the sea

Holy bomb explosives! Meet Abdul Fattah, the chubby man who personally worked with Bin Laden before he slept with the fishes….or did he?

He claims Bin Laden blew himself up after he was shot in the thigh as his two bodyguards were killed by Seals.  Now this may come as shocking news to us but logic asks if Bin Laden blew himself up while his wife and other Seals were around, how were they able to survive?  Hmmm…something is fishy and I don’t mean Bin Laden’s burial at sea…which is a kinda fishy too.

NewsFlash: Bin Laden now lives with Spongebob Square Pants under water in a pineapple!

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